getting better. Well...this summer has gotten worse, and better, every other day practically. Right now I'm on a good part. Recently I hooked up with a guy named Alex---the next day came the shit storm from Adam. But then we talked about...became friends, and now we're all cool again. And it's nice to have a snuggle buddy. Maybe it's a bad decision, but whatever. He's all banged up, got into a drunk bike accident, and wrecked his arm and his nose. But he's getting better. I leave here in...16 days!!! Hooray. Work has been nuts, people quitting/being fired, shit getting broke, getting ripped on by members and Donna....just lots of shit. And as the slogan on the tshirt says, if it weren't for the bonus, we'd all quit. But I need that 3000 come October. Kim is at the beach in the Carolina's till thursday, which is great, cause I was able to practice today, and it's so nice not to have a roommate who is always on her cell phone. Pretty soon--it's back to Madison and Lynn! and hopefully our apartment will be jammin'! I need to go out and take some pics (we're decorating in bw photos we take ourselves!) Let me know what's going on in your lives. I feel so out of the loop. It was great seeing you biz!

Miss everyone :)

hmm....so what am I doing? Well, I only tend to post when
I'm drunk or emotional, and I'm both right now. I don't know what
i'm doing...Adam and I are back together, he professed his still love
for me in the shower the other morning.....but now he wants to sleep
alone (he needs to stretch out) and I can't kiss him in
public............goddamnit why can't i stop loving him. After
all we've been through I wish I could just move on and forget about
him, though I suppose that's why I can't--because we've shared so much.
Today us girls decided to HO out...I look hot, but what did he have to
say... "you look stupid, why are you guys dressed like that" but
I suppose that's alot to do with his dislike of anything sexlike--he
doesn't mind doing it, but god forbid talking or thinking about
it. But I'll do it, be with him---when he wants, who cares
about me....because I do love him, and I can't stop myself...and even
though everyone is dowstairs partying their asses off, and we've not
even dented 1 of the 30 packs, I just want to change into my pj's and
fall asleep. while I can be drunk and hopefully not think of
him....I guess I'll just go on flirting with everyone else, maybe it'll
ruin my chances with him, but whatever, I think we've had our best
times, everything from here on out will just be settling. Why
can't I just say goodbye to the memories?

SO FUCKING DRUNK! Holy shit...I smell like so many different guys right now....hope i don't puke.

I think I've figured out my bad mood as of late. I'm lonely--I've never really had to sleep alone here before this summer. I feel jealous of Kim, since she gets calls from people here to do stuff, when I never did, and I've known these people for 2-3 years, what is it about me that pushes people away? And of course then I get invited along, but I feel like a third wheel---or i suppose, technically, a fourth wheel since it is Andre and Chris...but whatever, i suppose I'm not skinny and cute, and that's what the guys here like, and of course all the girls that live here except me are gorgeous and skinny---and I get asked "are you becky's sister" when the oNLY thing similar about our appearances is the fact that both of us are overweight. Goddamnit! I don't like living by adam, I don't ever know what to do, I need to know that he doesn't like me anymore, so I can go on living and not guessing. I need a guy just to help me get over my dependance on him, but i suppose that isn't a solution, I need to be independent, but I miss snuggling, and kissing, and having someone there all the time for massages, hugs, and love. and now i'm making myself cry. Why can't I just be happy? How come all the great guys I know and love have to be taken, or gay, or far away? Why can't I just find one who'll be there for me. I have a need to be domestic, as much as it riles feminists, I love cooking, and cleaning, and having stuff there. I get to see Kathryn on Tuesday which will be nice. I hope others roadtrip out, I really REALLY need you....I miss you all so much. I love you :) Call me! I need company!

FUCK AK! I hate my life so much....I really just want to leave Harbor Springs and never come back or think about it again, but i can't. So you know how AK slept in my room the first night---I thought it was maybe something meaningful, but NO he was fucking drunk, but I suppose that is how it is in harbor springs, he's always either drunk or stoned. and now i have to live fucking next door to him for 3 monthes. FUCK! what am i going to do, i've cried myself to sleep everynight so far, and I don't want to do it for the rest.
I really just want to go.

Last night in the UP until Christmas---it has been restful, but boring! I did make $200 cleaning for my great aunt though which is nice--pay off some bills. I read A TON! of books---over 20 at least--and only went out with friends maybe 4 times--pretty pitiful, oh well. So tomorrow it is on to Harbor Springs-we shall see what this summer holds for me. I hope my bro gets a good roomie, and that i get to room with kim. Later. I don't know when we'll be getting internet, so who knows when I'll write next.

Man...Sheena you really need to get a life. I have done absolutely nothing in the past week. All the plans that I had with people fell through, so I was left with the exciting agenda of eating, reading, sleeping, and watching movies. A lot of time spent talking to my dog, not that anything is wrong with that, I love my dog :) But sometimes it's nice to talk to people other than my younger siblings, parents, and pets.

I need to get out of the house, but there really is nowhere to go, I have no need to shop really---not that there are any decent places to shop...i shouldn't eat, no one to see movies with....let's throw a sheena pity party! i'm pathetic.

On the bright side--my upper range is even more solid now! I just need to start cracking down on the low...the bad part is I always get the urge to practice like now...when my whole family is sleeping, and I can't :( excuses excuses...

So---I don't think anyone from the UP reads this- but if you do, SAVE ME!

So, here I am at home. I've been here for less than a week and I've already read 10 books. Nothing's changed....bought new running shoes this morning, hopefully I run. Went out with the churchie people last night actually had a good time. Meg's wedding shower is tomorrow, and then Erin and I are driving down to Marquette for her cousin's wedding reception, which means I have to find something to wear?!?! I have nothing! We've been playing lots of card games (which I love!) we're going garage saling tomorrow morning. I missed comments before..but now they're back on, and hopefully they're working..let me know if they're not! My grades are better than I expected. I have a 3.8 right now, and I'm only waiting on music history which should be an AB, that means my cumulative is probably going to go to a 3.6! Hooray, I can still not go to class. (I told myself if my gpa ever went below a 3.5 i'd start going to class!) I got an AB in that class I never went to! I love being a sheenastudent :) Call me sometime if you're in the UP..even if you're not! Cause I'm bored out of my mind and need something to do. I think I may go hang out in the video store where my friend works, until I have to go pick up my mom from work at 11. I need to buy white shoes for work this summer, and I can't decide if I should get nice ones, or just cheap ones from walmart or payless...we'll see! Well I'm going to look online for pumas and birkies...later!

I'm the weirdest person in the world. So here I am done with my exams...happy to be out of school. And I'm sitting in my room, and I just burst out into tears...i don't understand myself sometimes.

I'm DONE!! Hooray! Now I'm just chilling, I should be packing...but I'm not. I'm really tired, but want to be with people, oh well...social time will come, sometime? It'll be nice to be home...but sad to be gone. Don't really want to write as much as I thought I did...oh well. later.

So...
I PASSED MY JURY!
Percussion, Strings, Black Music, and Theory are done!

Now I'm doing my Ed Policy paper, which question 1
is 67/1500 done, and question 2 is 657/1500 done! and it's not due until Thursday I'll be fine!

And I'm studying for music history...which is ok. People are coming over tonight to work on it more.

John is copying Blackbird for me! and wants me to do the concerto competition next fall. The tbone/tuba softball couldn't happen, because of rain, but we had the tbones do the toothpick race! hee hee! WE WON :) It was a good time, though Tony didn't come, cause he was with Ho..good job ditching us loser!

Almost done...it's weird, I'll be home in less than a week. BUT HARRY POTTER is on JUNE 4th! I know..I'm a dork...hmm I need to figure out how to get comments working.

Ahh..the new background is Harbor...signifying my summer job..in HARBOR SPRINGS :) Ok...back to more reading and writing.

No more classes!
Kent Night was a SUCCESS!!!!

Now onto...
1. Theory Exam
2. Percussion take-home final
3. JURY--AAHHH!!!!
4. Ed Policy 12 pg take-home essay final!
5. Music History final
6. PACKING

too much to do, too little time.

Things to do for the rest of the semester--
1. Write Percussion paper
2. Write cello duet
3. Plan Kent Night
4. Study for Black Music History Final
5. Black Music History Final--this Thursday--in class
6. Go to Ed. Policy on Tuesday to get exam questions
7. Write that exam
8. Practice LOTS for my jury
9. Music Theory Final
10. Music History Final
11. Drink lots during finals week
12. Pack
13. Kick tbone butt in the softball game
14. Hang out with everyone
15. Hope for sun, so I can study/write on the Terrace a lot!
as for now...I should get dressed and go to the concert...

Recital=Done....thank god. My family just went to the hotel, they're going to leave in the morning without seeing me. That's ok, we spent a lot of time together today. Jo and Lynn are the best roomies ever, they bought me a bouquet of roses :) I'm having a Raspberry Smirnoff Twist to celebrate, and then I might head over to Katie's to watch Friends with her and Kathryn. Not too exciting...but I am so worn out, and just need a couch to collapse into.

Now I need to learn my scales for my jury so I can kick it's butt...and write my perc. and cello things for monday....

ok, I'm out. Thanks to everyone who came!

beige rhetoric

blue adverb sits social construction
it was troped and soothingly metonymized
waxing amazing and gooey
the only lapping rhetoric was the nostril-
magenta remembrance of themes past when poodle howls
beige epistemology soothingly toward blue identity
now, beige chickens by the red wheelbarrow



hmm....bad poem

WhAT A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!
so..here's the good things that happened to me today
1. GREAT WEATHER
2. Terrace time!
3. Lunch on Janet's roof with good music, conversation and a great view
4. passed my ed audition
5. good lesson and dress rehearsal!
6. found out I got a B+ on the midterm for the class I've never been to
7. and after work, we're having Jagermeister, and Irish Car Bombs in my room before Jazz!!!!!!!!!! wahoo :)

I can't wait for my recital/school/juries to be over! So I can PARTY! I'm going to see if my dad can maybe come pick me up a couple days later, so I have a few days to chill here. We'll see.

Come to my recital...May 1st 7:30 St Francis House, it's going to rock!

I'm planning Kent night...to celebrate, mourn the loss of Kent for next year :(

Anyone want to party during exam week, I'm up for it, Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday!

TUBAEUPH/TBONE SOFTBALL GAME--after juries on Monday, May 10! Should be a great time! we better win!

hmmm...so yeah..I hope the rest of work goes fast, I want to chill, drink and listen to the UW jazz band :)

Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

New York
You're competative, you like to take it straight to the fight. You gotta have it all or die trying.

so, I just went and retook it...to see if I could still tell the truth, but be a little nicer...and I only moved up to the 6th level of hell...I'm a crappy person!

You are 19% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Man...I'm writing a lot lately, guess I just need an outlet. I get like this sometimes. I'm going to answer Lauren's questions...not many people read this blog I guess....oh well ;)

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, regardless of money, occupation, etc, where would it be?
hmmm....that's a toughie, well, I've always wanted to live on a cliff, and in a castle (or huge manor, I don't care how drafty people say they are ;) So...I think I would choose Ireland (despite all the political uprising) Just because I love the green photos I see....and castles, and cliffs and sheep....now this might change after I visit it eventually, who knows I may hate it....but right now, that's my dream! (and I'd play in a brass quintet too...that's my other dream, though it's not about where I'd live)

2. How many licks does it take you to get the center of a toostie roll pop?
Actually A LOT! It usually takes me 2 or so tries to eat a tootsie pop, it's just too much sugar, so I have to rewrap it, and attempt it later.

3. What's the best class you've taken at college?
I don't think I've taken a best class...I've liked certain aspects, playing all the instruments in percussion fundies rocks....David my theory TA this semester is great, so I'm really getting into Contemporary music in theory, which is something I NEVER thought would happen with my dislike for modern music...but no more! And Botany 100 was great...as our labs consisted of stuff like walking in the woods, eating fruit, and pretending we were molecules :) Hopefully one of these days I'll take a class that I LOVE! Cause I really need that.....